So I went to see my therapist and apparently I have a thing called body dismorphia ?! Anyway after an hour he concluded that I am better than I say and that I do it to myself and that it's just a phase Im going through and that after a while I'll grow out of it...

Any I found some thinspo (well I think it is) here it is
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Dancing

So I have a dance show in two weeks and have been rehearsing like mad... My feet ache but I lost weight so I can't tell if I am happy or not ?!
I went to see bridesmaids the other day at the cinema and managed to not eat a thing while I was there even though my friends wanted me to. :P

I am on the athletic team at school so there's lots of practice for that and I realised that with all this going on my head is spinning and I haven't had a chance to think about my school work let alone when I'm next going to eat ...

I haven't been on in a while but can I please have some more reviewers or am I only talking to one person ... If I am that makes me feel weird... Thank you for the comments left onthe last post they made me feel so much better and that was more than most things have done !!

I wanted to know if anyone has ever been so tired of eating yet at the same time tired of not eating ??!!

" so the reflection in the mirror shows what everyone else sees ! "
Hugs Sophie xx

RANT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not alot more

so i had a sleepover on Saturday and my friend was on my computer on facebook so forgot to log off ... then i got a computer ban and got it back this morning just went onto facebook but it was on her account ( i didn't realise ) and found a lot of messages from her to my other friend saying how crap i am, how fat i am, how annoying i am, how i ruin everything, how i am an attention seeker, how because i am off all the time( obvious reasons involving doctors appointments ) no one cares and that when one of the is off i bug people, how because i don't eat i am obviously a failed anorexic because i cant be, i don't look it - news flash actually i am bulimic with restrictive tendencies - as if i didn't have enough problems with my body image! thanks guys really grateful for it and to add insult to injury they said about how i am a crap friend in general and that i needed to stop thinking about my own problems and more about other people.

and now i don't know what to do i mean my supposed friends hate me - they don't even know about the eating disorder so what would they do then - my mum is insistent that i don't have a problem and i feel like screaming its 2am and i finally got up and wrote down my feeling like my therapist suggested and to tell you something i don't feel any better...

i wonder if i did die would they even care ?! now i feel hopeless i thought that my friends would be there for me the girl said she would take a bullet for me so am i over reacting or is that two faced ????

"i do this for me, for the insecurities that haunt me"

                                                                         Hugs Sophie xx