so i had a sleepover on Saturday and my friend was on my computer on facebook so forgot to log off ... then i got a computer ban and got it back this morning just went onto facebook but it was on her account ( i didn't realise ) and found a lot of messages from her to my other friend saying how crap i am, how fat i am, how annoying i am, how i ruin everything, how i am an attention seeker, how because i am off all the time( obvious reasons involving doctors appointments ) no one cares and that when one of the is off i bug people, how because i don't eat i am obviously a failed anorexic because i cant be, i don't look it - news flash actually i am bulimic with restrictive tendencies - as if i didn't have enough problems with my body image! thanks guys really grateful for it and to add insult to injury they said about how i am a crap friend in general and that i needed to stop thinking about my own problems and more about other people.
and now i don't know what to do i mean my supposed friends hate me - they don't even know about the eating disorder so what would they do then - my mum is insistent that i don't have a problem and i feel like screaming its 2am and i finally got up and wrote down my feeling like my therapist suggested and to tell you something i don't feel any better...
i wonder if i did die would they even care ?! now i feel hopeless i thought that my friends would be there for me the girl said she would take a bullet for me so am i over reacting or is that two faced ????
"i do this for me, for the insecurities that haunt me"
Hugs Sophie xx
I'm so sorry honey. The most of us live this kind of betrayal at least once. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, but you are such a lovely girl, and you don't need fake friend comments, right? I don't know much about you, but I guess you are still a teenage, so there's a long way to walk, which you'll discover there's not a lot of friends out there like on tv, but it doesn't mean there is not even one :) Face the life, smile every day 'cuz you don't know when is the last
ReplyDeleteBTW, you have a friend on me ok? if you need anything anytime, you know where to find me :)
ReplyDeleteThanks what you said was really nice and made me see that someone that has not even met me cares more about me than one of my friends, so they cant really be my friend and i don't need this in my life i have enough on my plate without that as well !!!!! "the future belongs to those people who believe in the beauty of their dreams"- Eleanor Roosevelt :)
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